Low Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is the overall sense of worth a person places on themselves. Low self-esteem is a persistent negative view of yourself that affects decisions, relationships and wellbeing.
It isn’t a formal diagnosis on its own, but it’s a common difficulty and it often sits alongside other mental health conditions. Because it’s learned over time, it can also change with the right support.
What does low self-esteem look like?
How it shows up
- Persistent self-criticism, or a harsh inner voice
- Trouble accepting compliments or positive feedback
- Focusing on perceived flaws or failures
- Comparing yourself unfavourably to others
How it affects what you do
- Difficulty setting boundaries or asserting your needs
- Seeking a lot of reassurance, or avoiding situations where you might be judged
- Feeling undeserving of good things, whether relationships, opportunities or success
- Perfectionism, or a fear of failure that limits what you attempt
Low self-esteem can be a long-standing pattern, or it can rise and fall with circumstances, relationships or life stage.
What causes low self-esteem?
There’s rarely a single cause. It tends to develop from a mix of factors.
Early experiences
Critical, neglectful or inconsistent caregiving in childhood can shape core beliefs about worth.
Social & cultural factors
Comparison (including via social media), bullying, or cultural messages about worth and achievement.
Life experiences
Failures, rejections or big setbacks, particularly ones that weren’t processed with support at the time.
Co-occurring conditions
Low self-esteem often accompanies depression and anxiety, and the relationship runs both ways.
Ongoing relationship dynamics
Critical or invalidating relationships in family, romantic partnerships or work.
Low self-esteem is usually learned through repeated messages and experiences, which also means it’s possible to build a healthier sense of self-worth with the right support.
How is low self-esteem addressed in therapy?
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)
Identifying and challenging the negative core beliefs and thought patterns that keep low self-esteem going.
Compassion-focused approaches
Building the capacity for self-compassion, often a new skill for people with a harsh inner critic.
Acceptance & commitment therapy (ACT)
Loosening the grip of self-critical thoughts and reconnecting with your values and the actions that matter to you.
Exploring origins
Understanding where beliefs about self-worth developed, particularly where low self-esteem is long-standing.
Skills-building
Assertiveness and boundary-setting skills, which tend to develop alongside a stronger sense of self-worth.
Because low self-esteem often sits underneath other concerns, it’s sometimes addressed directly and sometimes as part of broader work on a condition like anxiety or depression.
When should I see a psychologist about low self-esteem?
It’s worth reaching out if you’ve noticed:
- A persistent pattern of harsh self-criticism that affects your mood or decisions
- Avoiding opportunities, relationships or challenges out of a sense of not being good enough
- Difficulty setting boundaries or expressing your needs
- Low self-esteem alongside symptoms of anxiety, depression or another condition
- A sense that your inner voice is a real obstacle to how you want to live
A GP can set you up with a Mental Health Care Plan under Medicare’s Better Access scheme, which covers a rebate for a set number of psychology sessions each year.
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Get matched with a psychologistFrequently asked questions
Is low self-esteem a mental illness?
No, it isn’t a diagnosis on its own. It’s a common difficulty that can affect wellbeing, and it frequently co-occurs with conditions like anxiety and depression, which is part of why it’s worth addressing directly.
Can low self-esteem improve, or is it just how someone is?
Self-esteem is generally learned over time, so it can change with the right support and experiences. It’s not a fixed personality trait, even when it feels deeply ingrained.
Is low self-esteem the same as low confidence?
They’re related but distinct. Confidence usually refers to belief in specific skills or abilities. Self-esteem is a broader sense of overall worth. Someone can be confident in certain areas and still have low self-esteem overall.
How long does it take to build self-esteem in therapy?
It varies with how long-standing the pattern is and what’s feeding it. Some people notice shifts within weeks of starting to challenge unhelpful patterns. Deeper, older beliefs usually take sustained work over a longer period.
Do I need a GP referral to see a psychologist about self-esteem?
No. You can see a psychologist directly. A GP referral is only needed for a Medicare rebate through a Mental Health Care Plan.
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